Rigidity, Fluidity, Malleability

What's the point of an engineering degree if you're never gonna work in the field? Apparently, that's the point of it. You take all the material properties, forget everything and go with the Modulus of Elasticity.

ennui?

Seems like it and it sucks. Frozen? Mid-air?

Taking a delayed stock of 2008

Post was in drafts!

2008 was a year of many firsts. Almost everything I did had it's pitfalls but I'm glad I did it. It was also a year for lots of firsts coming to get me.

1) Actually learnt Riding a 2 wheeler. And actually drove it around in city traffic. And actually did tasks with people on the pillion - YAY FINALLY.

It's unbelievable how liberating this is. All my life, I've been told why I couldn't do it, was discouraged, probably for the control war. All my life I was shit scared of it.

I finally learned to on those small activa/scooty/dio types which were in terribly bad shape. Even when I first tried kicking that Dio, Dad told me to forget it. For the first couple of times no matter what I did or anyone did it wouldn't start.

I just decided it was enough and gathered the courage one day to do whatever it takes to kick and go down that slope. And then, a few weeks later, I gathered the courage to go down that other steep slope. Whenever I'm riding up this one in a rickshaw or on a bike pillion, used to make me feel as if the vehicle would backflip and I'd die. I consider it a tremendous achievement to be able to go up and down that slope on the dio even if the slope may not scare you.

The bad thing is I can't middle stand park yet. The good thing is the terribly bad shape of these bikes - back break missing/ front break almost non functional/ kick slipping/handle non aligned/ Shock absorbers dead - means I can definitely work with something better. I also had my first REAL bike accident due to a tyre puncture and vasant helped me to get it fixed though we were both hurt. AND I LEARNED TO KICK. Mwahaha!

Onetime, I was riding alone on the highway at night and it felt sooooooooo darned good to feel the wind in my face and in my hair. Thanks Prajay!

2) I lived somewhere else than here. I lived in Goa on and off for about three months. I really really wanted to do that, and though I'm back, I did do it and that's good. Long term Goa didn't turn out to be what I expected really. She wasn't on my side this time. Sometimes it felt as if everything was mocking me. The loveliness, green fields, seas, beaches, the buzz around it. I didn't accomplish the things I wanted to do there. Anjuna isn't a place to work and I had terrible boy troubles. Maybe next time I'll try and go by myself and see if I have better luck.

3) Also set the ball rolling for doing your own thing.

4) Spiritual Explorations began- Vipassna direct! Everyone says I started with the toughest one - yeah I know. I hope I don't turn lame.

5) I said "I love you", and committed to a great guy, tried to work an unconventional relationship, saw a ton of dreams dreamt in rose tinted glasses come crashing, almost lost the "girl lives in a rainbow coloured world" tag and still working on retaining a tinge of it.

6) Traveled to the East Coast of India! w00t!

7) Understood why someone would travel to a friend 3000 kilometeres away from the beach to the mountain on the other coast. What friends really mean, and how they cry when they see you crying. And how friendship can help nurse a broken heart.

8) I discovered how flower power people staying for months on end in Anjuna were lame!

9) Saw more music, performed a poetry mash up at open mind night.

10) Picked up a wandering begging girl in the colony, forced her in a rickshaw and drove her back home to her grandma.

Grey Elephants in Denmark

Amazing play by a very youngish director writer. Refreshing. I came home and immediately seeked to understand this mentalism thing. Saw it some days ago at NCPA Experimental and I was one of the chosen ones for the book test. People came up to me later to ask if I was a part of the show. Heh. It was fun. Magic tricks, intellectually written and cynical I think. Go see.

In the play I watched the actress who plays the "girl from ghatkopar" wasn't Amjad khan's daughter. I spoke to her father and he said he was an accountant. Her mom was at the play too. I asked the father, "Aren't you scared for her?" He said he was. Theatre actors didn't make much money(which is true) and he worried about all the things like marriage, career and so forth. But it was what she loved and wanted to do.

I applauded his courage in supporting his daughter.

Happy Holi!! - Celebrate Elektro Holi Festival

Happy Holi.  What are you guys doing today?

I'm looking forward to my friend Jeet's Elektro Holi Festival - The biggest electronic fest Bombay has ever seen.  Jeet is an IIT geek who does amazing things with the guitar horizontally.  After three months living in Anjuna, strange things happen.  Like you get out of home at night for a walk on the south beach totally oblivious to Curlies and Shiva Valley and bump into friends who came there just for the music all the way from Bombay.  But this nice.  I'm keen to see how goa parties get in Bombay.  Add the colours and holi party.  This should be fun.  Wanna come?

Submit a confirmed guestlist of 10 to elektroholi@gmail.com before lineup begins and get free entry of two!

Book your tickets here:  022 3989 5050

Or you can call Just Dial ( 022 6999 9999 ) and ask for Elektro Holi Festival.

Or just show up at the venue!

Location:

HAVELI INN, The Electric City, On Western Express Highway. 10 Kms from Borivali.

Getting There(Lifted straight out of event description on facebook):

Drive/Ride/Hitchhike:
Churchgate 45 Kms (1 hr 30 mins)
Bandra 30 Kms (1 hr)
From here straight on the Western Express highway.
Andheri 20 Kms (40 mins)
Malad 15 Kms (30 mins)
Borivali 10 Kms (20 mins)
*Bhayender Toll Post 5 kms (10 mins)
Look for Haveli - Its a big Red Fort on Right side on the Highway way right after you cross the river.

By Taxi:
Tell: Ghodebunder Naka after Mira Road on the Western Express Highway

By Rickshaw:
tell ric guy: -Bhayender Check Naka- Rs150 from bandra, Rs100 from andheri, Rs70 from malad, Rs40 from borivali
----change rickshaw (you are in Thane now :)----
tell ric guy: -Haveli- for fixed price of Rs 70 from Bhayender Check Naka.

You have to be there to believe it...

***** IF You Like to Stay Over ******
Kerala HOUSE BOAT at Mareena the Creek Side
TENT RESORT (a/c tents), Swimming Pool and Open Air Restaurant.

(((( Dont forget to check out the Village)))
Its a real village setup with Huts, Clay people and Panchayat, Khatiyas and everything :)

They server amazing DESI food :) at Theka The Dhaba

First Aid Medical Camp, Co-orporate Security

Contact:
Just Dial (69999999)
Rohit: 9867241797
Monica: 9004112743

Check out the line up!

LIVE ACTS:

Tatva Kundalini Feat. Taamara - http://www.myspace.com/tatvaindia
(Vedic chants - vocals) with Heavy Electro BassLines produced live)

Tarun "Boombaba" Shahani http://www.myspace.com/BoombayCentral

Beat Bay Collective (Kris Correa, Sohail Arora, Raffael Kabbley)
http://www.myspace.com/BayBeatCollective

Nishant TechnoBoy www.myspace.com/TechnoBoyOfficial
(live production on laptop/midi equipment)

Space Zitar + 3rd Though http://www.myspace.com/spacezitar
(Live Indian Classical Jam with electronic samples, patches and production)

Medusa http://www.myspace.com/hellomedusa
(Live jam with electro patches)


DeeJAYs:

Ma Faiza - www.myspace.com/mafaiza

WhoSane www.myspace.com/whosane
(acclaimed remixer, amazing underground techno artist)

Janux (Jehan-Blue Frog) www.myspace.com/januxsoundspecies 

Reji (Chill Om - One Sunday) www.myspace.com/rejisterhere

Amul ( Resident Zenzi) www.myspace.com/djamul

Chromaderma (Rohit Ballal) http://www.myspace.com/chromaderma

Moon Child(Sarikah Rai)

JET Baba (Jeet Gupta)

djane CHIKI (digital om productions)

Guest Artists:
DJ Swing (Mix Master from Bangalore) Clement D'Souza (Ex Resident China House)
DJ T-nu (even the bolly wood kind will play Techno on Holi) Helium Project
M ANU (Manoj Madhukar Pathare) J# (Jayesh Returns from the Dead)
BLU::tronica (Rahula 'Chatz' - World Acclaimed Live Performer is back home!)

Schedule:

----OPEN AIR----- (3 PM)
Moon Child (Sarikah)
BLU::Tronica
Swing
TechnoBoy + Amul
Space Zitar + Khoparzi
Bay Beat Collective (Kris, Sohail, Raffael)
Ma Faiza
Tarun Boombaba
Janux (Jehan)
Tatva Kundalini
Helium Project
Chromaderma

-----Club----- (11 PM)
Moon Child (Sarikah)
Khoparzi
Tatva Kundalini
Tarun + Jehan
WhoSane
CHIKI
Chromaderma

-----Lounge----- (11 PM)
Medusa
DJ T-nu
Reji
M ANU (Manoj)
DNA

Facebook Event Link

Old Friends and Life

I'd chopped off my hair in December.  It's a bit longer now.

Suddenly thought of meeting A today.  So dropped by his place.  Uncle and Aunty were happy to see me.  His wife is a sweetheart.  I couldn't believe they're married for two years now.  He was surprised to find me there when he came in and said he was wondering where I was just some hours before.  One of our friends had a baby it seems.  Too many things have changed.  When will I grow up?  It's scary sometimes. 

We had khichdi for dinner together. It was nice. 

Good News -  A bought a car.   It's RED! 

Blah stuff - I told him I was kinda getting jittery about how all areas of my life are unstable  right now and not where I'd planned they would be.  His solution to all my crap is that I get married.  whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I told him I wasn't gonna keep in touch again for the next two years if he suggests that instead of other logical options.  

"Get married to K or atleast let your parents find you a guy." 

He wasn't too excited about me dating a firang either.  A friend of mine who's a friend of a common friend of me and A told him that and he was worried.

"Different cultures."  

"Do Americans have any values?" 

"Next time if you guys are around come and meet me and bring him along."

I just said yeah to all.

I can understand why he would be worried. 

But according to him, till the time you get hitched, you waste your time worrying about the what if's/right career/wrong career/finance/risks/right person/wrong person/instability/shit that can go wrong/committment phobia/single life pleasures/bla bla bla and once you do get married all you do is get your life back on track and do what's good for you and your better half and if shit goes wrong you fix it and you have both partners in it together and you tend to seek stability.  He said when you make a committment and you wow to keep it, you do all the right things and especially if a guy makes that committment, that's when he's gonna do all the right things. 

I can't understand that.  How can the solution to all your personal,career, finance problems be marriage?  What about the whole finding yourself thing?  I haven't even found my signature scent yet.  Is this how men think?  Or is this how Indian men think.  I'm not sure if I'm reassured by or wary of that line of thought. 

It's reassuring to know that men think like that.   I'm wary about the fact that they would only think like that once they get hitched.  On one hand I'm reassured that INDIAN men would think so.  But on another hand, my man's not Indian.

It's dicey and I don't know what to make of it.  

We didn't get a lot of time to talk alone.  Things have changed.  Married man and all that now.  We barely went for a few minutes drive in his new car and kind of fitted whatever we could say into that small time.  I'd have liked to discuss other things that are on my mind with him but his marriage suggestion limited it all to this one.  I'd have liked to sit and talk for a bit and tell him specific problems and take practical advice on them.  

I can't understand why he couldn't be more supportive. 

I miss the old A - my level headed, rational friend who I always thought would help me with direction if I got lost.

Nonetheless, we had a some nice laughs and for a little while before the serious convo everything in this world was good and okay.  

===================================================================

I want to get back into the groove.  This fuzzy state is not for me.   

I need a really really ANONYMOUS blog

One where I could really pour a lot of the ugly parts.  This one is semi anonymous.  A lot of people know it's mine. Guess what I'm gonna make a really anonymous one. Blahblahblah. I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU GUYS WHAT'S SO BAD.

Bye!